On a recent road trip for work I listened to a series of speeches by the author David McCullough. Half of the speeches were from graduation ceremonies. Listening to them made me think that the great advice he assembled for these occasions is often lost on the young intended audiences. It also made me think about how we can all benefit from these pearls of wisdoms. After all, why should graduates in May and June get all the motivation? How about some graduation advice now that we all still need to hear?
Not having the skill and life experience of Mr. McCullough, I supplemented my ideas with thoughts from friends and colleagues. Together we brain stormed what we would say at a graduation. It was a fun thought exercise. The resulting list is an amalgamation of past reading and those discussions that took place over the course of a few weeks. {As a side note: lucky are we who have a group like that to keep each other sharp and engaged in leadership thinking.} What would you add to (or remove from) the speech?
On to the list…
My dear graduates, allow me to offer a few words of wisdom:
1. Get a library card and use it! Audio books are acceptable, but a physical book is preferred.
One theme in the great author David McCullough's many graduation speeches was insistence that graduates "Read! Read! Read!" This may be because he writes for a living but General Jim Mattis, who only wrote one book and would probably give it away, also emphasized reading as an unparalleled way to learn. Your taxes already pay for a library system full of books so get a library card and use it! Read fiction, non-fiction, sci-fi, business, leadership, whatever. If you don't like a book 50 pages in, stop reading it and move on. Electronic and audio books are acceptable, but read physical books whenever possible. They give your eyes a break from screens and bring your full attention to the written words in a way digital formats do not.
2. Start and end meetings on time…and don’t be afraid to cancel them either.
Being timely is an under-appreciated skill, that is until one experiences the benefits or pain of it done well or poorly. In one case, however, your time management has the ability make-or-break the days of other people: meetings. Meetings can be the bane of corporate existence, but one simple habit makes a big difference. Start and end meetings on time and, for the love of Steven Covey, don't be afraid to cancel them either. With timeliness as a keystone habit for meetings, the tone is that they have purpose and attendees can budget their energy appropriately. From there, even routine meetings will be eagerly anticipated.
3. Poco a Poco. Making forward progress, little by little, has tremendous value.
We often assume situations demand innovation or a major change. We look at houses and think they need to be gutted. We start a project at work and toss aside the old ways. This mindset misses the value of progress that can be accomplished little-by-little, or poco a poco as the Italians say. Whether it is a house or an organization, maintaining what you have while incrementally improving it is a far more reliable and cost effective approach. Improvement is the tortoise to innovation’s hare. Think poco a poco, little-by-little, for the long-run.
4. Play soccer, or whatever strenuous activity keeps you sharp, but do it vigorously and with people if possible.
Sitting is the new smoking and the office chair is the new pack-a-day habit. To combat this you should get up to walk around, to go look out the window, or to each lunch away from your desk. These goals are not worthy of a speech but we also still tell people smoking is bad for them. For a challenge you can play soccer, or whatever strenuous activity keeps you physically and mentally sharp, but do it vigorously and with other people if possible. The boost to your energy, spirit, and creativity will be immediate. Never consider it time away from work, but rather time that makes your work better.
5. Email is not work! When you absolutely must use it, don’t reply all.
Repeat after me: "Email is not work!” If corporations really wanted every email triaged and handled and filed perfectly then the function would already be automated. Email is a tool for you to use - do not let it run your day. Structure your schedule around the product or service you are paid to produce: writing, designing, analyzing, advising. Use focus time. Use phone calls and chats. If you find yourself buried by email, you’re doing it wrong, because, say it with me: email is not work! Also, when you absolutely and truly must use email, please don’t reply all. If you don’t know why yet, just wait and you will.
6. Time has value. Be stingy by declining some things and be generous by volunteering for others.
You would not walk around handing out money to just anyone, so why do we give away our time so readily? Time has value and you cannot get it back or make more of it. Be stingy by declining unnecessary or wasteful requests so you can invest that time better. Say no to bad meetings and read the notes later. Don't let that one co-worker or friend steal more time than you are willing to give them. Put the phone or remote down. On the other hand, be generous with your time by volunteering. Give your time to those people and causes that are in need of it. Your time will go further with them. (This one was from my classmate and friend Jamie Embry.)
7. Do not apologize for having a family…in fact, we should all just apologize less.
Without getting into biology, let’s just say that families happen. We are creatures of love and contact so we surround ourselves with other people, and sometimes animals, who care for us and who we care for. I primarily mean children, who too many professional apologize for when leaving early (on-time), but the concept extends beyond off-spring. Do not apologize for having a non-children family you love, a pet, a social life, or a hobby. Do not use it as an excuse either but proudly have the life that you work to have. While on the topic of apologies, do not apologize for restroom breaks, mental breaks, recreation, and other normal human qualities. Do not apologize for making small mistakes. In fact, we should all just apologize less.
8. Wear the suit! Courtesies and traditions exist for a reason and sometimes require your discomfort.
One day you’ll think getting dressed up for a meeting or event is unnecessary or old fashion. Take this on faith: courtesies and traditions exist for a reason. They ground us in time-tested ways. Trends and creativity are fun, even sweatpants have a place (arguably), but if you even suspect you need to dress up, do it. Part two if this is simpler: once you are dressed up, just wear the suit or the heels or whatever outfit you chose! If you dressed up for an occasion, why ditch the jacket to show off your wrinkled shirt or walk around barefoot halfway through? Doing or wearing the right thing is a courtesy extended to others and a way to honor yourself. It sometimes requires your effort or even your discomfort, but those are worth it. (This one combines Alfonso Gambone’s motto with longstanding advice from our father.)
9. Don’t worry about what others think because it is usually just about themselves.
The story goes like this: Someone pulls up to the valet in their fancy car thinking about how good, how cool, and how successful they look. They imagine everyone is staring at them in the driver’s seat with awe. The valet gets in the car and now all eyes follow the valet because, in reality, most people are looking at the car. The funny thing is, many of these people watching are paying no attention to the drivers. Instead they are imagining how successful they’d look in the driver’s seat. The point is: don’t worry about what other’s think because you’ll find it is usually about themselves anyway. (This one was from Jessica Behera and uses Morgan Housel’s (wo)man in the car paradox.)
10. Start singing before someone else does. If they beat you to it, join in harmony.
Singing is a uniquely human expression. Other creatures communicate melodically but it is not singing in the human way. Our music has the ability to touch us on many different levels: lyrics, melody, rhythm, harmony, performance, and experience. Songs amplify and share emotion in a profound way. If we could only all communicate our thoughts and feelings so well! The only tragedy about singing is that we have become collectively shy. We fear comparison with professionals and heavily produced songs. Fear not. It’s actually a race to sing first, to share song, and to spark connections in that unique human way. Start singing a song before someone else does or, if they beat you to it, join in harmony. Remember: one person singing is crazy but two people singing is a performance! (I can't mention singing without crediting Brook Sherman who I'm perpetually racing to sing first and who harmonizes better than anyone I know.)
11. Bring your own coffee and lunch. The compound savings should motivate you if health does not.
Life often becomes a series of habits formed at certain inflection points. You’ll change jobs and the new commute by car or train will become a easy routine. A new circle of friends or neighborhood may shape your habits toward exercise or toward late nights. One habit to form early on is to bring your own coffee and lunch to work or school. This habit will not only save you time, but the compounded savings and health benefits can be significant. This is not to say you should always eat alone or never go out. Life is a balance after all. Eat away from your desk with fellow leftover-eating colleagues. Grab that coffee or lunch with friends. Put what you brought in the fridge for the next day. (This one reflects Giulia McPherson’s impact on me and combines in Jessica Behera’s perspective.)
12. Get involved. It helps others and justifies your otherwise unjustified complaints.
There is a truth that many of you have not figured out or simply ignore: there is no ‘they.’ The ‘government,’ the ‘system,’ the ‘company,’ or the 'team' are not blamable entities. Each is a collection of people that includes you. It is ‘we the people,’ not ‘they the people.’ There is no they, so get involved. Vote, take surveys, debate issues (listen too), and organize those happy hours, lunches, hikes and similar events that you wish happened. Get in the trenches to see what ‘they’ are doing and become one of them. Don’t be a spectator of life, be they. Modern society demands your participation and that participation not only helps others, it justifies your otherwise unjustified opinion or complaint about how ‘they’ are doing. (This one blends advice from Michael DeVolld with something I’ve said for years about being ‘they.’)
13. Sit in the front of class. This ensures the mutual benefit of attention.
Maybe this advice is too late for graduates, but please sit in the front of class, or at church, or at similar gatherings. Perhaps this is obvious, but if it is obvious, it is also widely ignored. Most audiences look more like the person speaking in front has some sort of communicable diseases. Instead, make it a habit to move to the front rows. Sit in a place that makes it clear you are interested and where you will feel obliged to stay interested. Bring your friends or families up front too. The instructor, priest, minster, lecturer, or colleague who is speaking will truly appreciate your gesture. More importantly, this arrangement ensures the mutual benefit of attention between the audience and the speaker.
14. If you’re averse to failure and risk then you’re averse to action and creating value.
Creating value and making an impact requires positive action. Cause and effect. Action and reaction. Coming up with an idea is not enough since it must be shared and acted upon to do good. Strategy must become implemented tactics or it is pointless. Planning to run a marathon...write a book...travel the world...spend more time with family is not, in fact, doing it. Planning without action is regret. Too often it seems a fear of failure or rejections prevents ideas from becoming actions. But risk is an omnipresent reality, so get used to it. If you are averse to failure and risk, then you are averse to the possibility of action that can improve, innovate, or create anything of value. They are all on the same continuum. (This one came from Michael DeVolld, never one to regret anything.)
15. Technologies change, organizations evolve, and people complain anyway.
If there is a fault in humans, it is in our unwillingness to accept faults. To be clear: dissatisfaction with faults motivated us to improve our situations immensely, but that is not the same as accepting them. Accepting faults means accepting the existence of faults - knowing there will always be more to do. Technologies will change and bring us flashy solutions, but they will (can) not solve all our problems. Organizations will evolve and reorganize with pure intentions, but they will often create and ignore other issues at the same time. And, lastly, people who do not understand faults to be inherent in a complex world, who think technology and organizations should have solved them all by now, those people will complain anyway. That is their fault.
16. Buy what you need, eat everything you buy, and compost what you don’t eat.
People waste an enormous amount of food simply because we don’t study our food usage the way we should. Take time to understand and optimize your food habits. Buy what you need and eat everything you buy; bring leftovers to work. Learn about sell-by, use-by, and expirations dates and how the ‘wiggle room’ in them allows you to NOT automatically throw away things with past dates. Finally, the best way to understand your own waste is to compost. A small compost bowl on your countertop is a perfect visual reminder to minimize your food waste. Think of it like a trash-can for your wasted money. (This one also is credited to Giulia McPherson who has mastered the art of just-in-time and just-enough inventory.)
17. Mow your own lawn and don’t obsess over it.
Homeownership may not be the best graduation speech topic, what with real student debt and monopoly-money home prices. Still, it is included here to help reverse bad societal habits. So, once you do have a house, please mow your own lawn and don’t obsess over it. Learn to do it well, cross cut and edge it, rake or broom as needed, and be done. (Leaf blowers only cause unnecessary pollution.) If you don’t want to mow, go with raised garden beds or some other no-mow alternative. Either way, by doing it yourself you’ll get to know the land and landscaping that you worked hard to purchase. You’ll get exercise and meet neighbors. You’ll be a homeowner, not just a bill payer.
18. Pessimists sound smart but it is optimists who mold the world.
Everyone knows these two archetype personalities: the doomsday pessimist and the eternal optimist. The world we live in is flawed so, given these two personalities, the optimist can appear ignorant of reality. By comparison, the pessimist can sound smart. The problem is pessimists rarely mold the world; optimists do. Optimists plant trees, start schools, read to children, and pick-up trash. They know better is possible and they are motivated to pursue it by that knowledge. They do things for a future they may not experience themselves. The most successful are Stockdale optimists who “confront the brutal facts of [their] present realities” while maintaining “faith that [they] will prevail in the end.” So stay optimistic and help mold the world; if you don’t see the results, it is because the next generation will. (This one pulls from another Morgan Housel thought and a conversation with Cherian Zachariah and Russell Zuckerman.)
19. Look at the birds. Look at the trees. Just look up.
A person who looks up and out at their surroundings with wonder is better-off than a person always looks down at a phone. They have better posture, breathing, and mental health. Their brains get a boost from the natural world and their eyes enjoy the distant horizon as a break from screen and page. Better still is the person who notices and knows the birds. More than anyone, bird watchers connect to their surroundings and possess a certain alertness of mind. This is best demonstrated by a small note Leonardo da Vinci one wrote in a notebook margin that said: "describe a woodpecker's tongue." Through such micro and macro ornithological observations, bird watchers, and similar people who marvel at their surroundings, get closer to the spirit in creation than anyone else. If that is not the point of life, I don’t know what is. (Inspired by the many bird watchers I’ve met who have been unfailingly interesting and good people.)
20. Always…no wait…never follow lists of advice! Make your own.
These sort of lists are fun. Truthfully, this one was culled from years of reading, a podcast of graduation speeches, and wonderful brain storming (B.S.) sessions with friends. I cherry picked ones that resonated with me and you should too. In fact, you should never follow lists of advice from other people. You should make your own list and follow it and update it as you grow. If you still need the same advice that someone crafted for your 18 or 22-year old self, then you may need more than advice. ~
After posting these I received some great suggestions or add-ons that I thought helpful:
21) Take the advice you give, and take it just as readily. -- Me, after reading all these and knowing I could do better following the list of advice that I curated!
22) Learn to disagree without giving judgement or taking offense. -- Patrick Sullivan
23) Hand shakes and hand written notes still have tremendous value. -- Jason Heering,
Add to 1 (reading): Books let you go deeper into topics, including topics outside your comfort zone. -- Michael DeVolld and Mariana Villas-Boas, LL.M
Add to 5 (email is not work): An email sent is not an email received or an action taken. -- Michael Hammerstrom and Beau Farley
Add to 6 (time has value): You’ll remember helping someone long after you’ve forgotten missing some meeting. -- Jessica Behera,
Add to 7 (apologize less): Instead of apologizing, say thank you for being flexible. -- Michael DeVolld
Add to 8 (wear the suit): If your shoes or outfit are uncomfortable, invest more in them. -- Sean Plankey
Add to 14 (take action): The role of a leader is to take action that challenges the status quo. Leaders are not necessary to go with the flow. -- Sean Plankey
To cull the list, and keep it at 20 total, I think I would cut: number 2 (start/end meetings on-time), number 13 (sit in the front of the class), and number 17 (mow your own lawn). But there really is nothing wrong with a list that is 23 items long either.
Thanks for following along!
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