~~ Preface ~~
Dear Sirs,
The following letters were found unclaimed or left behind by the previous occupant of my office. I find them attributable to no one in particular. The letters are to a Junior Tempter named Teakwood from his Uncle, a Senior Tempter, named Twinscrew. The Tempters work for someone they call their Father whose aim is to assist Officers with seeking Promotion. Teakwood’s replies are missing as is any countervailing perspective of the one the Tempters call the Enemy, whose value of Leadership above all is at odds with the Tempters and their Father.
I find the letters highlight the difficulty in balancing Leadership within Promotion, and how the latter does not always seem to require the former. I share them as a reminder that any Organization aiming to elevate Leaders in rank must counter these Tempter’s by elevating Leadership within Promotion. After all, there is no technical or organizational or political solution to any challenge we face that can succeed without Leadership. Unless additional letters are found, we are left to imagine the fate of poor Teakwood and his Officer.
~ JWM, 11 November 2018
~~ I ~~
My dear nephew Teakwood,
Allow me to be the first to welcome you and your Officer to the fleet! I fondly remember the days when I was a Junior Tempter and my Officer was an Ensign. It was easy to focus them on Promotion inside the Organization instead of Leadership. The first quick and easy advancements train Officers to view Promotion alone as success, but the Enemy is persistent and crafty in exposing them to the light of Leadership. Make no mistake, our Father wants to focus Officers on Promotion above all else. If you allow your Officer to be led astray, your career as a Tempter will be difficult and short.
Because you are young, you too may find parts of Leadership attractive. While it can be employed to attain Promotion, Officers who prioritize leading can go unnoticed so it is best used sparingly. For now, encourage your Officer to engage in many collateral duties and work long hours. These habits, while done without harm at a young age, will train your Officer to focus on producing output instead of producing results.[1] It will also build a resume most useful through Promotion inside the Organization. Stick to the script written to make Admirals and seek my guidance should you need the perspective of a Senior Tempter.
Kindly,
~Uncle Twinscrew
~~ II ~~
My dear nephew Teakwood,
I was happy to hear your Officer enjoyed the taste of Promotion. Our Father has done much over the years to ensure Promotion is marked with ceremony that achievements in Leadership rarely see. Do you get the sense your Officer enjoyed the pomp-and-circumstance? Occasionally we have Officers who do not want to celebrate Promotions, or worse, will agree to a ceremony only to then credit their subordinates! We have found this to be a mark of Leadership which you will want to mitigate if necessary.
The Enemy wants [2] Officers to enjoy Leadership so completely that attribution is a secondary concern. In fact, successes could be wrongly accredited to another and they would be equally glad that Leadership was present and benefiting the Organization. Although this may work in meritocracies where results are valued, it remains incongruent with the Organization’s current approach to Promotion based on time-forced competition [3] which, I’ll add, enables our works as Tempters in many ways. You see, Officers competing for Promotion are easier to focus on documenting their own records which steals time from Leadership. They are also easily convinced to act politically, something young Tempters like yourself may mistake for collaboration in the vein of Leadership, but which lacks genuine motives and follow-through. Yes, prideful competition for Promotion is the path we prefer and this simply cannot be done when Officers eschew credit. If you become concerned, I will guide you toward the tools we’ve previously developed and deployed successfully.
Kindly,
~Uncle Twinscrew
~~ III ~~
My dear nephew Teakwood,
I read your latest report with some concern and so will take the time here to outline my concern and fully explain our purpose as Tempters in service of our Father. Yes, it is good that your Officer earned another Promotion, for all Promotion is good, but accelerated Promotion is not necessarily better. According to my fellow Senior Tempters, your Officer drew the attention of Senior Officers by volunteering for a high profile activity. Although this bodes well for Promotion, it risks exposing them to the upper ranks before they are inculcated. Allow me to explain.
In the past, some Officers gained visibility, and therefore Promotion, by working on unique Organization-wide change initiatives. Unfortunately Tempters overused this tool because the effect is now diminished and often counterproductive. The Organization has become fatigued by excessive and poorly implemented change. Observant Officers who get involved are now seeing that executive decision making gridlock, probably the result of our past success as Tempers, is to blame. Not only do many of them gain experience managing change (a terrible precursor to Leadership), they also become discouraged by the performance of those executives which leads them to question Promotion as valid goal. For now, we must assume that encouraging Officers to pursue such unique visible efforts is not a safe approach for our cause.
Indeed the safest road [4] to Promotion is the gradual one – one that forms Officers into cogs slowly and without them knowing it. The Enemy wants Officers so accomplished in Leadership that they can thrive in any corner of human society, even if that calls them to leave the Organization. Our Father, however, needs cogs to fill the Organization’s ranks. Such cogs, locked in a role and yet interchangeable, best maintain the status quo which is to our advantage. Some Officers may glimpse the light of Leadership through the Organization’s mesh of gears, but our role as Tempters is to edge them away from the light and always toward Promotion. Continue to nurture your Officer’s blind loyalty to the Organization and instill doubt that they can find success anywhere else. These thoughts build dependence which we will leverage later as motivation to seek Promotion.
Kindly,
~Uncle Twinscrew
~~ IV ~~
My dear nephew Teakwood,
Excellent work keeping your Officer focused on the Organization’s work these past few years. You mentioned in your last letter that your Officer was struggling with work-life balance and work satisfaction. Life challenges sometimes lead Officer’s to deliberate and make erratic decisions. Under no circumstance should you allow your officer to obtain mentorship from outside the Organization or make any thoughtful choice whatsoever. I’ll encourage my Senior Officer to mentor your Officer which will provide counsel without risking exposure to options beyond the Organization. In addition, our fellow Tempter’s work popularizing the terms “get out” and “wash out” to disparage the concept of transitioning in lieu of Promotion is still in full effect. These cultural pressures have successfully retained many impressionable Officers over the years and should be sufficient for your need.
While I am writing I will offer a few additional thoughts that you may find helpful. An often overlooked tool is to encourage poor spending habits in your Officer. Did you know neglected financial preparation is as powerful as an esoteric jargon in forming an Officer’s dependence on the Organization? Another idea is to push your Officer toward a graduate school program to obligate them to the Organization for a while. This works best around the 10-year mark but, whenever you employ this tool, be mindful your Officer does not attend school out of genuine intellectual curiosity. The Enemy likes to sneak in and lure Officers into intellectually stimulating programs, or those with market potential beyond the Organization, which can be disastrous for us. To steal away [5] [an Officer’s best years we must lull them into staying on the gradual path up the ranks and surround them with confirmation at each turn. Whatever you choose, I hope this is not the last I hear from you. Our Father has no patience for Tempters who allow Officers to be lured away from Promotion.
Kindly,
~Uncle Twinscrew
~~ V ~~
My dear nephew Teakwood,
I was pleased to hear from you again after your Officer’s absence at school. Time away at schools is always risky for Tempters since Officers are not surrounded by the confirming and conforming forces of the Organization. I would have felt terrible if our Father had cast you out for failing to get your Officer to single-mindedly pursue Promotion. Thankfully that did not happen!
Now that your Officer has rejoined the fleet you must regain any lost progress. The upcoming evaluations are an excellent opportunity so I’ll lay out a few considerations. First, help your Officer shed any writing skills improved by academia and resume the shoddy stilted method preferred in their annual evaluations and award nominations. Remember, if someone outside the Organization can read it, then we have failed. Second, steer the write-ups toward quantifiable outputs appropriate for Officer-cogs and away from markers of engaged Leadership that our Enemy prefers. Lastly, always ensure the write-ups present your Officer as a hero, even if they are rarely heroic and especially if they only solve symptoms, not problems. Remember, the Organization values even rarely employed fire-fighters far more than fire-preventers who quietly solve underlying problems. To this end you could even start a few fires for your Officer to put out.
Beyond evaluations, may I also recommend you have your Officer nominate themselves for an award? While the evaluation system our Father has honed over the years leaves little room to highlight Leadership, it has been largely unchanged for so long that its utility for Promotion has been gamed. Name recognition through awards remains a useful tool and, as a bonus, any time spent crafting them is time not lost on Leadership. It is a win-win!
Kindly,
~Uncle Twinscrew
~~ VI ~~
My dear nephew Teakwood,
I continue to be impressed by how you have guided your Officer thus far. While it differs from the approach of my generation of Tempters, provided it serves Promotion, I am happy to learn from you! A few of us Senior Tempters were discussing how this younger crop of Officers seems to do a better job balancing Promotion with personal pursuits. We are curious how that will endure when they take the balance-killing jobs required to make Admiral? In the past we had great success letting them frame it as a ‘trade-off’ but this generation seems less willing to trade.
You mentioned in your last letter that your Officer was reading books even though it is no longer required for a class. As you know, we are skeptical of Officers who read because too many of the Enemy’s ideas are absorbed by this medium. Our goal is to source their information from internal or otherwise consistent sources. Could you lure your Officer toward books on reading lists published by Senior Officers or similar conforming sources of information?
Another approach toward idea containment is to crowd out time for reading or deep work. Our go-to for years has been status briefs and, my personal favorite, pre-briefs. Provided these briefs do not result in a decision or stimulate insight, they are a phenomenal tool for our cause. More recently, e-mail has been our workhorse in stealing away time from production, reflection, and results. Most Officers are now so convinced that e-mail is itself work that they spend time on little else!
Whatever is preferred, ensure your Officer’s methodology [6] creates work for them instead of helping them complete work. This approach, and preventing awareness of alternatives, has been key to our Father’s success and will serve you well.
Kindly,
~Uncle Twinscrew
~~ VII ~~
My dear nephew Teakwood,
You certainly gave me a scare when the copy of your Officer’s “Leadership Philosophy” fell out of your last letter. You were right to consult me but thankfully it is just a Mission-Vision-Goals statement right from our Father’s script. Your Officer is simply conflating their Promotions with gaining Leadership abilities but I see no signs of the Enemy present in the product. Development of a true Leadership philosophy requires room over a career for reflection and failure that Tempters, and the Organization, do not allow. It requires even more time to implement. Continue to let your Officer believe that creating these products achieves Leadership. This will keep them from delving deeper into the matter. In fact, this type of moderated Leadership is as good for us as no Leadership at all—and more amusing.[7]
Many Officers become so satisfied by these symbolic efforts they never proceed to serve, or even engage, their subordinates. My favorite is when they include buzzwords to sound like famous civilians – “empowerment,” “equities,” and “innovation” seem in favor recently. For example, your Officer is now too old and the Organization is too bureaucratic for innovation to occur, but let them use ‘innovation’ if it satisfies them. In fact, we ensure the Organization disproportionately publicizes pockets of innovation because Officers are satisfied when they think innovation is present. Keeping Officers satisfied is the key to keeping them deedless, actionless thinkers [8] which is always to our advantage. It is the dissatisfied and the doers, the ones who pursue achievable improvements, who will be our downfall.
Kindly
~Uncle Twinscrew
~~ VIII ~~
My Dear nephew Teakwood,
Another Promotion! You’ve made great progress but you are not beyond the Enemy’s reach. Your Officer has cumulatively had, and dare I say sought out, excessive exposure to the light of Leadership. Please stay on guard.
You mentioned your Officer was studying the recent promotions and assignment statistics. Do you get the impression the intent was to optimize their own chances or was it something more nefarious? As you should recall from training, those statistics will show that Promotion and favorable assignments primarily depend on an Officer’s proximity and responsiveness to executives. The many elements of Leadership that the Enemy prefers play an insignificant role.
Actually, an interesting second-order effect of the Promotion and assignment processes was recently revealed. There was a study – perhaps it was a blueprint or strategy or whatever - but it amassed enough data as to magnify an effect we previously missed. Obviously the data confirmed that the Organization promotes Officers who prioritize Promotion above all else. That is our invisible hands at work after all! However, it turns out the release of Promotion and assignment results themselves also serve our cause because they encourage Officers who do not prioritize Promotion to transition voluntarily. Officers who favor Leadership over Promotion or those who otherwise allow personal pursuits such as family to compete against Promotion see no one like them in the results and simply leave. The Promotion and assignment processes never even have to weed them out!
Which brings me back to your Officer who I hope was studying those statistics for only good reason. I mention the recent study because I know your Officer is observant and we now know observant consideration of Promotion statistics and assignment results could be discouraging. If your Officer can see no path for themselves in the results it could even instigate harmful action such as a voluntary transition. Be on the look-out for signs of discouragement and intervene quickly. Our Father is not kind to Tempters who let Promotable Officers slip through their fingers.
Kindly,
~Uncle Twinscrew
~~ IX ~~
My dear nephew Teakwood,
You have returned me to a state of concern with your latest letter. There was always something about your Officer that I could not put my finger on - a curiosity, a creativity, a cheerfulness - but a difference. We should have known it was not a Promotable difference in this Organization. I simply assumed your Officer desired Promotion but your report of deep deliberation and planning for a transition are troubling! Our only option now is to prevent that planning and half measures will not suffice.
Know this, most Officers stay in the Organization because they never plan for any other alternative. Prevention of planning retains Officers and retained Officers can still promote. I suggest a focused implementation of our Father’s full suite of tools - esoteric jargon to build dependence, internal mentoring to introduce doubt, and contained thought diversity to crowd out alternatives. These will complement our time sucking efforts to make planning impossible. For your part I also suggest placing emphasis on the readily available contract and federal jobs that Officers can fall into. This has kept many Officers from planning for life beyond the Organization until the 11th hour so I am hopeful it can work for you.
But your Officer is different - oh those missed signs! Counterfactuals are pointless since it is exceedingly hard to lure an Officer back once the idea of transitioning has taken root. We must also employ suspense and anxiety to barricade the Officer's mind [9] against the pull of the Enemy and Leadership. Put your energy toward introducing doubt about the economy and their ability to earn income outside the Organization. Remind your Officer they have never applied for a job. Get them to "just finish this tour" and then “just see how the next Promotion results work out." Don't let them realize that all Officers transition eventually and the advantages of doing so on their own terms. Our business is to keep them thinking about what could potentially happen to them, not let them know what they could do with their potential.
I'll confer with my peers and send you a letter by courier should we have recommendations at this urgent hour. I hope they are not needed. If we are too late and your Officer is lost, rest assured you fought well nephew. Also know that every Officer lost to the light of Leadership helps us focus those who remain solely on Promotion. All that sustains me is that our Father's cause, the rejection of the Enemy's silly Leadership, must win in the end.
Kindly,
~Uncle Twinscrew
~~ END OF LETTERS ~~
Author’s artwork inspired by Ellen Condor’s Illustrated Screwtape Letters, May 2015
These fictional "Twinscrew Letters" were written for an essay contest. I enjoy studying leadership in action and occasionally challenge myself to write about my observations. For this essay I chose the "morally inverted" letters format of C.S. Lewis's Screwtape Letters because I found it to be such an interesting delivery mechanism. Citations:
Linda Stone, “Machines Can’t Flow” June 2013, The Atlantic
C.S. Lewis, Screwtape Letters – Letter XIV, 1942, “The Enemy wants…”
Time Kane, Why Our Best Officers Are Leaving, January 2011, The Atlantic
C.S. Lewis, Screwtape Letters – Letter XII, 1942, “Indeed the safest road to hell…”
C.S. Lewis, Screwtape Letters – Letter XII, 1942, “To steal away…”
Stuart Hamilton, The PMP – How it Ruined Project Management, 2015, LinkedIn
C.S. Lewis, Screwtape Letters – Letter IX, 1942, “A moderated religion…”
Jack London, Letter to Philo M. Buck, Jr., July 19, 1913, “The men who act without thinking…”
C.S. Lewis, Screwtape Letters – Letter VI, 1942, “There is nothing like suspense and anxiety…”
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